Ever experienced anxiety wondering about what people are people are thinking about you? Laid awake all night with thoughts of what they’re saying about you swirling around in your mind?
According to Psychology Today, “To feel accepted is a nearly universal human desire.” I don’t know about you, but that’s comforting to me! We’re not alone! We all want to control what other people think about us.
So how do we stop caring so much about what other people think? Easier said than done, right? In my new YouTube video, I’m sharing some of the things I’ve done to calm my anxiety and stop the crazy train.
Step 1: Address the Things You’re Thinking
Do you assume the worst? Totally overlook the good in a situation? Pay attention to only the bad? Look, it’s human nature to tend toward negative thinking. Then that negativity affects our mood and it’s so easy to get caught in a never-ending spiral of negativity.
I’ve found that journaling helps me to recognize what I’m thinking. (I LOVE Emily Ley’s guided journal: A Standard of Grace) Once my thoughts are written down on paper, in clear black and white, it’s much easier to see my thought patterns and what is or isn’t true. Then I can take steps to readjust the way I think!
Step 2: Reach Out to Someone
It’s SO easy for our brains to just run and sometimes those spiraling thoughts can do some major damage when there isn’t someone else around to provide a little reality check. So find someone you can talk to! Having an outside, unbiased perspective and some encouragement from a trustworthy friend (or three) is usually just the thing I need to stop the overanalyzing.
Step 3: Focus Where it Counts
Worrying isn’t just unproductive, it can be seriously detrimental to our health, our time, our relationships. That long night laying awake in bed, running through ALL the worst case scenarios probably kept you from waking up refreshed and exercising, right? That video or selfie you overanalyzed and ended up not posting might have been exactly what someone else needed to hear! By changing the focus from the negative to the positive, we waste much less energy on fear and worry.
Positive self-talk! It may sound silly, but this can work wonders. Before I get on stage to speak, I tell myself things like, “My message is important!” and “I'm going to help these amazing people get on video!” and “What I'm going to teach today is going to help them change their businesses!”
Step 4: Accept That You Won't Please Everyone!
As the saying goes, "Better to be loved by a few people YOU care about, then liked by everyone" I know, it’s hard to ignore the trolls when putting yourself out there is so vulnerable. But think about this: why does this person feel the need to tear me down? What are they doing with their lives? Likely, they’re being mean because they need to watch this video! They need to stop thinking so much about others and what they think, and focus on themselves and positivity.
I actually love getting comments from trolls. I get to respond in a way that I feel good about, and 9 times out of 10, there’s no response because they know they‘re wrong!
Step 5: Life is too short!
We only get one life to live and it goes by INCREDIBLY fast! Remember it's your life, not anyone else’s. You get to do you!
REMEMBER! There will always be people who will judge you, even if you were perfect (which no one is), but your biggest fans will ALWAYS be cheering you on! They’re not going to be judging you, they’ll be right beside you with love and encouragement! Want to hear more about my personal journey to stop caring what other people think of me? Go ahead, click on the video!
Interested in exploring more about this? One of my favorite people to watch here on YouTube Amy Landino also has a video on HOW TO STOP CARING WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF YOU I definitely suggest watching her video right here if you are really struggling with this today. She has some great takeaways that will help you too!